Are Some ADHDers ACTUALLY Narcissists? Here's The Difference Between ADHD and Narcissism
Is it ADHD or is it Narcissism? Let’s compare and contrast the symptoms between the two disorders.
There's a big difference between ADHD and narcissism. And that's very obvious to a lot of people. However, when it comes to neurotypicals, who are in relationships with ADHDers, it is very common for them to think that they have a partner who is a narcissist because the way symptoms are represented in the individual. But here’s the thing; Everybody is different. This is a nuanced conversation and nuanced conversations about mental health need to happen more. So let's talk about it. Let's get into “is it narcissism or is it ADHD?”
BONUS TIP: Don’t want to read? Here’s the video version:
Is it ADHD or is it Narcissism?
Let’s compare and contrast the symptoms between the two disorders.
LOVE BOMBING
ADHD - Love Bombs - Their expression of genuine enthusiasm over a new person, experience, etc. This is more like showering your new love with, well, love.
NARCISSISM - Love Bombs - A tactic used to gain their victim's trust and loyalty
TIME BLINDNESS
ADHD - Time blindness - genuine inability to not be on time or perform activities or requests within a certain timeline.
NARCISSISM - Time blindness - Intentional disregard for other people's time. Especially as it pertains to an activity or request they do not care about.
MANIPULATION
ADHD - Is easily manipulated by others due to their inability to understand empathy, emotions, and physical cues.
NARCISSISM - Manipulates others through gaslighting, victimizing themselves, mentally weakening others, and destablizing their vicitms.
EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS
ADHD - On emotional outbursts - ADHDers experience overstimulation and overwhelm in many situations. Their brain causes their anger, rage, or emotional outburst being overloaded and unable to function in the current situation.
NARCISSISM - On emotional outbursts - Narcissists express rage, anger, physical/emotional/mental abuse upon someone's refusal, denial, or unwillingness. These outbursts are also caused by the narcissists' loss of control or power over their victim.
EMPATHY
ADHD - On empathy - ADHDers are highly sensitive people who can experience a struggle to express empathy regularly, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t empathetic. Because of the deep emotional responses ADHDers feel, ADHDers are prone to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
NARCISSISM - On empathy - Narcissists are often believed to lack empathy, and this is a myth. Narcissists and empathy is more nuanced than is ever discussed. What’s going on with empathy is actually narcissists are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. There is both a conscious and unconscious aspect to empathy. Typically, narcissist use empathy as a weapon and withhold it from their victims in order to control, exploit, and/or manipulate them.
READING EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL/SOCIAL CUES
ADHD - On reading emotional/physical cues - Some children, adolescents, and adults with ADHD can't read others' social cues, and don't perceive how their body language and tone of voice are read by others. Communicating with friends involves more than words. Sometimes the working memory impairments of ADHD allow a momentary emotion to become too strong, flooding the brain with one intense emotion. At other times, the person with ADHD seems insensitive or unaware of the emotions of others. Which is why ADHDers can seem like an empath or have a lack of care for others.
NARCISSISM - On reading emotional/physical cues - Narcissists are proud of their ability to “read minds” but it's impossible. The only ability they have is to step out of their self-centered aura just long enough to learn enough information about others to exploit and use against them in the future. So basically, the narcissist read others’ cues in order to understand how to manipulate a person into performing the act the narcissist wants. Most narcissists, it not all, experience Grandiosity, or an inflated sense of self and superiority.
THE BOTTOM LINE
If you’re ever concerned or thinking, “Am I a narcissist?” It’s a pretty good sign that you probably are not. If you’re neurotypical and thinking someone you know is a narcissist, use this information to help yourself better understand the differences between ADHD and narcissism. Or just watch any recent Disney movie that discusses the dynamics between the toxic parent and the desired millennial apology–Encanto is a great example, meaning the Grandmother in the story.
THE
Sarah Potter is a diagnosed ADHDer, Bipolar I person, and survivor of abuse. Speaking from her real-life experiences and knowledge, she shares helpful mental health advice, destigmatizes mental health conditions, and creates content online.
Having been in therapy for four years, working through trauma, binge eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and having a differently abled brain, Sarah has grown a community of online friends invested in doing the same.
Sarah believes that through education, sharing our experiences, and having honest conversations about how we’re really doing, we’ll allow ourselves to find the type of belonging we’ve been searching for and develop a safe space to connect with like-minded humans.
Join the conversation on Discord: https://discord.gg/vKM98GqETT
Subscribe to the weekly Mental Health Drop:
https://www.sarahpotter.substack.com
Follow along on Instagram: https://instagram/sarahalpotter
Stay up to date on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/sarahalpotter
Keep informed on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahalpotter
Sport your mental health status with merch! 25% is donated to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.etsy.com/shop/MentalHealthisMagic
Check out some of the merch below!
Wondering where my info came from? Here are all my sources:
National Library of Medicine
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5973978/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3950374/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5349280/
Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beautiful-minds/201202/are-narcissists-better-reading-minds
PsyPost
Healthline
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
ADDitude Magazine
https://www.additudemag.com/social-skills-help-adult-adhd/
https://www.additudemag.com/love-bombing-adhd-hyperfocus/
Psych Central
https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-love-bombing
https://psychcentral.com/lib/love-bombing-as-a-narcissistic-attachment-style#1
https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-projection
Edge Foundation
https://edgefoundation.org/adhd-relationship-cycles/
Research Gate